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Torn
Now the perfect sky is torn.
my own breathing..
Date : Friday, August 29, 2008
Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
- it has been a while..
#
What did you dream last night?
- i dream of nothing.
#
Does your phone ring in the middle of the night often?
- no. it stays silent.
#
Give a little whistle (whee hoo...)
- *whistles. what's the point of me doing this?
#
What are you doing tomorrow?
- school. study more until my head explodes.
#
What is something you've learned about yourself recently?
- i daydream a lot lately and I can never seem to pay attention in class that easily.
#
Do you like anyone?
- yes. i do.
#
Do you know anyone who is married?
- yes.
#
What's your favorite number?
- 7.
#
Who was the last person to make you cry?
- for that question, i will not tell. haha.
#
Are you outgoing?
- no.
#
When was the last time you cried?
- ages ago.
#
What is one thing you miss about your past?
- to be able to run freely without any resistance.
#
What is one thing you've learned about life?
- that life is never fair.
#
Are you jealous of anyone?
- no.
#
Is anyone jealous of you?
- why should they be?
#
Have you ever used a friend?
- i don't know. maybe i have, but i am not aware of it.
#
Do you think anyone likes you?
- haaaa. i don't know..
#
Who was the last person you drove with?
- dad.
#
What are you looking forward to?
- my room.
#
How are you today?
- kinda moody on the side.
#
What's your worst experience?
- knowing something will never change.
#
Are you currently single?
- -.-
#
How many things in your past do you regret?
- i have too many to count.
#
Do you have a best friend?
- a few.
#
Have you ever kissed two people in one night?
- haha. no. i stick to one.
#
Have you ever been in the emergency room?
- yes.
#
What's the last movie you watched?
- i cant remember.
#
If you could change anything about your past, what would you change?
- everything?
#
Have you ever felt like killing somebody?
- haha. yes.
#
Do you like your life?
- for the moment? no.
#
When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?
- now. i am feeling disappointed.
#
What kind of music do you like?
- rock. enough said.
#
Ever have an encounter with the police?
- nope.
#
Do you have more friends that are girls or guys?
- i dont know. they seem to be in an equal balance.
#
How long have you had myspace?
- i dont have one.
#
Have you ever fallen asleep with someone of the opposite sex?
- hahaha. no?
#
What's one thing you wish you could be better about?
- studying and paying attention in class so i could have gotten better grades.
#
Have you ever had feelings for someone who lived in another state?
- no.
#
What are some of your biggest fears of your life?
- to lose something i hold dear.
#
Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
- mhmm. thats a yes.
#
Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head?
- yes, right now.
#
Do you play any instruments?
- just the keyboard, once in a while.
#
Have you kissed any one on your top list?
- what top list?
#
Do you like to sing?
- sometimes.
#
What's the one thing you hope to accomplish in your life?
- better grades for this upcoming big exam, a degree, a master's, a PhD.
#
Are looks important?
- yes, that depends.
#
What are you listening to?
- nothing. just my own breathing.
#
What does the 8th text you sent on your mobile say?
- i deleted them.
#
Do you believe in love?
- i dont know. i have lost my sense in this love matter.

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Baby,top. || 10:07 PM

the meaning of love.
Date : Wednesday, August 27, 2008
HARD
1. will you answer every question honestly?
; that depends on what the question will ask me.

2. have you ever stayed up all night while drunk or high?
; stayed up all night, but not drunk nor high.

3. have you ever punched anyone in the face?
; no no. i dont have the strength to do so.

4. do you miss anything or anyone?
; i know i miss someone. (:

5. what makes you laugh no matter what?
; stupid jokes or when my sister starts to get lame. haha.

6. have you kissed anyone on the lips within the past five hours?
; nope.

7. who was the last person you talked to?
; talking to myself.

8. what do you dislike at the moment?
; my qualifying grades and some other things..

9. name one person on your top friends who is the most like you?
; what top friends? haha.

HARDER.
1. do you get butterflies around the guys/girls you like?
; haha. yes. (:

2. do you think it is bad to have sex at your age?
; baka.

3. will you get married?
; it is all in God's hands.

4. will you be doing drugs in the near future?
; haha. i'm not gonna do drugs you idiot.

VERY PERSONAL
1. are you happy with yourself?
; maybe I am. maybe I'm not.

2. would you change yourself for the person you love?
; no, i'm gonna stick being myself.

3. what do you tell yourself when times get hard?
; calm down, it's all a test to see what you're capable of.

SECRETS.
1. when did you last cry?
; last year.

2. do you believe in religion?
; yes.

3. when was the last time you fell asleep with a guy?
; ahahaha. i never do that.

4. what is currently on your mind?
; something that keeps on pestering me for this past few days.

5. if you are on a relationship right now, what's his/her name?
; there's no one particular. (:

6. has a guy ever seriously punched you more than once?
; haha. not intentionally *stares at someone particular.

SHOCKING
1. have you done bad things with your parents near by?
; i dont know. im not aware of my actions.

2. have you started a horrible rumor about somebody?
; no.

3. have you ever done hallucinogenic drugs?
; that my dear, is a no.

4. have you ever been too drunk to remember a certain night?
; no.

5. do you think your future will be a good one?
; if i work really hard, then it will be a good one.

THE DEEP STUFF
1. Do you think you were raised well?
; i guess..

2. How do you handle stress?
; sleep and dream away about something..

3. How would you spend the last day life?
; be with the one i love most.

4. Do you hide things well or do you have a guilty conscience?
; i hide things very well.

5. If there was true love on one side of the street and a million bucks on the other, which one would you pick?
; i'll stick in the middle. thank you very much.

6. If your parents got divorced and you had to pick mom or dad to live with?
; then. i'll live by myself.

7. If you had to choose between having one family member or 5 of your closest friends die who would you choose?
; baka.

8. Do you think you could ever forgive someone who murdered a family member?
; i'll track 'em down and do something similar to them.

THE LOVE STUFF
1. Do you think you know the meaning of love?
; no. i dont.

2. The last time you kissed someone...was it someone you see yourself with?
; hahahahahahahaha. yeah.. sort of. but not anymore. XD

3. What's the most important part of a relationship in your opinion?
; it all adds up to everything.

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Baby,top. || 7:40 PM

too late for regrets, no?
Date : Monday, August 25, 2008
I'm feeling so uber down today. I think I have to pay up for my A levels cause I think I'm gonna fail my qualifying exam. I calculated the marks already, and it didn't look like a passing mark to me. Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!~ -___________-

Apparently, my maths grade for AS is E. A large solid E. Hmph. Now I have to resit the papers again. There's like paper 1, paper 3, paper 6 and paper 7 for maths only. Then, there's poetry and prose, drama, 20th century text and Shakespearean text for Literature. There's Core, Human and Physical sections for geography. Also, there's a data response and an essay writing for General Paper. I have to sit for ALL of those papers.

*realizing something* ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!~

There's more than 10 papers for me to sit. I am seriously going to be struggling during my exams with all the exam dates differing by a only few days. Sigh.. Yatah tu, awal-awal kana suruh belajar inda mau. Biar bemain tah ganya time dalam class. Ani, barutah kan menyasal.

-__________________________________-'

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Baby,top. || 4:44 PM

3 Golden rules.
Date : Friday, August 22, 2008
3 Golden Rules
• state 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself
• The 10 people I tag are then to follow my footsteps and write their own 15 weird things/habits and little known facts.
• No tag backs (:

1. I am a very quiet person, so I tend to keep things to myself.
2. Strangers find it harder to get to know more about me.
3. I feel really shy around a guy I like.
4. I always dream about having the perfect kitchen. Haha.
5. I am a really jealous person.
6. I can get quite possessive over things and also over a guy, especially if he is a boyfriend of mine.
7. I can be quite bossy when working in groups. Therefore, I try to stick to my own work and not boss people around.
8. I can visualize nothing when I'm bored or when I get distracted.
9. I want to be an Agriculturist one day so I can help boost up the country's fruits and vegetables produce by doing some research on it.
10. I love nature.
11. When I'm with a guy I love, I almost say nothing at all during our conversation cause I just want to listen when he talks.
12. I like a guy who smells nice. Meaning, their cologne.
13. I tend to talk to myself. A lot.
14. I am a sadistic person, as Azzi puts it. Which is quite true actually.
15. Lastly, I'm gonna stay small, forever. -____________-

Labels:


Baby,top. || 8:59 PM

pfft.
Date :
I am fuckin' annoyed right now.

That's all, it's short, no?
Whatever.

Pffft.

Labels:


Baby,top. || 4:39 PM

spaghetti
Date : Thursday, August 21, 2008

Slurp~ Haha. I had the above dish during dinner today. It tasted awesome. (y) Anyway, today's a really tiring day. I didn't have Maths during the afternoon, so I went back home at 12. After school, my Dad and I went to the bank cause Dad wanted to take care of something. I checked the allowances as well, and guess what? It's out already. XD I got about $40+ I think.. I feel so kapih mannnn. Really kapihhhhhhh. I hate being in a kapihhhhhh mode. After finishing our business at the bank, we went home and picked Elle up cause we were gonna go out again. At Kiulap, Dad went to get two air-conditioners and two laptops. No, no, the laptop is not for me. Aha. Hmm. I'm trying, really trying, not to get too annoyed here. -_-'

After doing our business at Netcom, we went to Hua Ho to do some grocery shopping. Grocery shopping is fun, especially when I'm in a bad mood. Haha. If I was in a bad mood, then, I would grab anything that comes into view, it doesn't matter whether it's relevant for the kitchen or not. No, I don't care. I let out my anger by doing extravagant shopping. Hahaha. Today's grocery cost nearly to $340. Yes, we spent that much when we have lots of money. XD

Next, we went to Soon Lee cause I wanna get some stationaries. I ran out of paper already, so I need to restock them. Haha. Restock, that sounds weird. :S So anyway, Dad did a little shopping also at Soon Lee. AFter that, we went home. Rehat sekejap, tunggu semua orang come gome from work, then, go out again. Haha. Dinner time. We went to this Italian restaurant, located at Sg. Tilong, at simpang 369. You can't really miss it though, it's located literally next to the road. The service there is amazing; the owner of the restaurant is really friendly, and the food is also great. Lots of people go there, probably they want to experience Italian food. But seriously, go there and try it out yourself. The dish I ate (refer picture above) is called "Spaghetti All'amariciani" I think, and it cost about $12. They also have desserts there, I haven't tried them out but they look really good. So anyway, the address and name of the restaurant (in case you want to try it out) is called:

Villa Mauri Restaurant
Sg. Tilong, Spg. 369
(sampat lagi advertise tuuuu..)

After dinner, we went to Hua Ho Mall cause I wanted to get Appeton Weight Gain, but then abis stock di sana. Huhu. I need that drink! I wanna gain weight so badly mannnnnnn.... -_-' Anywayy, we went browsing around after that. I went to the mattress section cause I wanna go look at the bedspreads and bedsheets. I found what I wanted, and we will probably go out again tomorrow afternoon to get the stuff we needed for the room cause tomorrow start the 'Brunei Grand Sale'. I'm waiting for the sale cause I can get DISCOUNTS if I buy stuff. XD I loveeeeeee discounts. XD XD ^_^

Then, we went homeeee. And I am here, typing away about my day. And I am effing tired already, so I'm gonna go now. Ta-ta.


p/s:
I got 5 AS for June: 'E' for GP -_-, 'E' for EAS -_-, 'C' for literature, 'D' for Geography and 'S' [?] for Maths. What the fcuk does 'S' stands for? Superb kah? HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. Or stupid kali. Lagi tiaaaaaa~ How the hell did I get an 'E' for GP during June when I got a 'B' for GP during the mock exams? -____________________- haishhhhhh... sigh.



& his name also starts with the letter 'Q'. Coincidence..?

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Baby,top. || 11:15 PM

i confess..
Date : Wednesday, August 20, 2008
i'm sorry for disappointing you,
i'm sorry for upsetting you,
i'm sorry for not doing my best,
i'm sorry for letting you down,
i'm sorry for being careless,
i'm sorry for not making you feel proud of myself,
i'm sorry for everything..

but, i promised you this,
i will give all my best when the real thing happens,
and i will make you feel proud.

Labels:


Baby,top. || 8:40 PM

realization.
Date : Monday, August 18, 2008
The "I’ve Come To Realize" survey.

1. I've come to realize that, my last ex:
- is now happy and I'm happy for him. X)

2. I've come to realize that, when I talk:
- I don't talk so much at all, more like, I have barely spoken. No wonder I was such a quiet person. It gets harder for me to talk to strangers.

3. I've come to realize that, I love:
- the things I have now and the people around me.

4. I've come to realize that my friends:
- are always there for me even though I never noticed it before.

5. I've come to realize that, I've lost:
- so much valuable time that I just wasted away.

6. I've come to realize that, I hate:
- something particular.

7. I've come to realize that, marriage:
- is the last thing on my mind. Haha.

8. I've come to realize that, somewhere, someone is thinking:
- the same thing I am thinking right now.

9. I've come to realize that, I'll always:
- be the same person if I don't change now.

10. I've come to realize that, the last time I truly cried was:
- last year, during July.

11. I've come to realize that, my cell phone is:
- not the one that I was hoping it would turn out to be. Haha.

12. I've come to realize that, when I wake up in the morning:
- my back is always in pain, though I always kept quiet about it. Shhhhh. *hides.

13. I've come to realize that, before I go to sleep at night:
- I pray to God to keep me safe.

14. I've come to realize that, right now I am thinking about:
- what is gonna happen to me on Wednesday when all the mock papers will be given back.

15. I've come to realize that, I get on MySpace:
- and I don't actually have one and I'm not gonna make one either.

16. I've come to realize, that today:
- is one of the laziest day for me.

17. I've come to realize, that tonight I will:
- dream away again in my sleep.

18. I've come to realize that, school is:
- making me insanely stressed out and I even thought of quitting school. Just kidding~ :D

19. I've come to realize that, tomorrow I will:
- want to get up early and enjoy the pretty sunrise.

20. I've come to realize that, if I had never entered the world:
- I would not have experienced this condition I am having. HAHA. -_-

21. I've come to realize that, I like:
- him. A lot.

22. I've come to realize that, without my family:
- I would not have been able to go through all that pain-staking injections and that one-month recovery from my surgery.

23. I've come to realize that, true love:
- is gonna come, soon. Maybe. I'm just gonna wait. X)

24. I've come to realize:
- that I am exhausted already and that my mind is filled with him.

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Baby,top. || 9:12 PM

Hello stranger (:
Date : Friday, August 15, 2008
Morning, the sun has not risen yet. The sky is a sea of blue. Birds are already chirping, bees are already buzzing and ants are already marching: those are the first signs of the morning activities. It won't be long now until the sun makes a glimpse in the horizon. It seems like it would be a beautiful morning, full of sunshine, full of activities, full of everything.. But alas, even though the day is filled with joy, the girl is filled with wretched emotions deep inside of her. Emotions that could lead to her downfall.

Okayy~~~ That is just too EMOH! Haha. Inda menjadi eh my story. Paluiiii~ Hahaha. Okay, deep breaths Amal, deep breaths. Is that the correct spelling? Anyway, back to my main purpose in writing this post.

I think I like you, because every time I see your face, I began to smile to myself. Even though I only had a glimpse of you, it was enough to brighten my whole day. The funny thing is, I don't even know your name. The only thing I've known is that you're studying a particular subject. I wanted to ask you your name, but I don't even have the courage to do so. You only appear when I least wanted you to appear and you never appear when I wanted you most to show up. And then I saw you with a girl, so, I'm going to assume that she is your girl. And I think I'm starting to fall for you, which is kinda funny (at the same time, stupid) cause you don't even know who I am. I bet you've already forgotten about me. Why am I making this so big of a matter?

Okay, I'm going out. Ta-ta.

p/s: Elle said I'm gay upon writing this post. Hahaha. Yes, I think so too. XD

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Baby,top. || 8:14 AM

Date :

Baby,top. || 8:08 AM

Hello
Date : Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Sigh.. I think God is punishing me for my wrong doings. I probably deserved them anyways..

*goes all emo at the corner*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Bye.

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Baby,top. || 7:55 PM

i.envy.you.people
Date : Saturday, August 02, 2008
The Art Exhibition at school today was AWESOME! Great job guys!~ Wish I could buy one of the paintings, man, they are very talented. I envy those people. -_-' I shall take some pictures of the paintings on Monday, so I can post it here, if permitted. Hehe. I wanna show you lot, the talented artists of PTEB. XD

I shall be away for a few hours cause I wanna go build a house. FYI, I'm building a house @ myminilife.com

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ :D

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Baby,top. || 3:27 PM

buttermilk chicken, the sweet & spicy one. mmmm~
Date : Friday, August 01, 2008
I am craving for Buttermilk Chicken... Si Apis ni punya pasal -_-' my stomach is rumbling already, maybe I should go eat after this. I haven't eaten my lunch yet but I did indulge myself with a bunch of sweet, seedless red grapes about an hour ago. Nyum~ I like. XD

I, basically, haven't updated about anything lately. Why? Because I am lazy, yes dear readers, I have gotten lazy lately. Well, actually, I'm kinda busy this week, wait, make it this month and next month too, cause yknow, with all the exams coming just round the corner. I can't mess things up again. Haishhh. I have to study hard so I would be able to earn lots and lots and LOTS of money. Yes, money. Without money, I shan't survive. Cewahh~ HAHA.

So yeah, I think I'm gonna go now. Cause I am getting uber hungry people! Uber HUNGRY!! My fingers are shaking already. Later~

Labels:


Baby,top. || 2:10 PM

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Arashi
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